This week I had a fairly brutal reminder that I’m very caring and compassionate to other people, but not enough to myself and I need to allow myself healing time when I’m doing it tough.
Earlier in the week I was told by some staff that I give too much attention to one person in my team, which I realized why it seemed that way. Then, that person that I ‘favor’ called me unsupportive which broke my heart. I felt sick that I’d made people in my life feel like that!
In the past few weeks I’ve taken a bit of me time, to deal with not only two robberies, having the flu for six weeks, divorcing from my husband, but the worst part, a suicide, which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. When I explained this to the ‘favored’ and ‘unsupported’ person, I was told “NO, don’t turn this around to be my problem”. When I said I was shocked to their hasty reaction (I was speechless and all I could say was “I’m shocked!”) I was told “I’m sorry you’re shocked, but like, I shouldn’t be made to feel this way.”
I didn’t get angry, I didn’t backchat, I didn’t retaliate, even though 23-year-old me wanted to punch him in the dick! No matter what the situation, or how cruel people can be, I never change who I am and I never acknowledge people’s shitty attitude and behaviour by giving them the reaction they seek.
Since this incident, I’ve learnt a big lesson in who is truly important in my life, and that I need to be more of a priority to myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve really needed some downtime, and me time, and ages since I’ve experienced full blown burnout, but here we are!
I’ve also learnt that I need to dedicate more time to compassionate and grateful people, and be cautious not to feed the ego of others.
There’s often so much more going on below the surface, and bullying someone because they’re trying to grieve is unacceptable, whether reacting with emotion or not.
Remember, you’re allowed to take YOU time and make yourself happy too, so then you have enough energy to fill those around you with love 💗 Also that you should celebrate YOU and your achievements.
….and just because you’re the boss, doesn’t mean you forgo support from others including your team.